Married couples that are forced to live apart

I flipped through newspaper and happend to encounter an article that closely related to me. The tittle was ‘Married Couples that are Forced to Live Apart’. I am totally agree with the article and decide to bring up this particular issue as a point to ponder upon and as an awareness of how the policies has been created regarding this matter in our country.

The issue was married couples living separately such as husband and wives who live and work in different states. The concerns were duplication of house rental, utility bills, transportation costs and entertainment. Every weekend, either partner will travel long distances to be with their spouses and children. Even worse, that separation between west-east Malaysia only allows either partner to travel less frequent due to the higher cost they have to spend (which is in my case).

The writer also brought up the social problem aspect. Being alone the whole week may sometimes lead to unwanted relationship and unnecessary problems which the writer admits it happended to their close friends. This point highly related to the strong faith you are hold to and how this may influence you to be steadfast to the guideline made by God. Or else, love alone may not promise everything.

The writer than suggest those in public sector be relocated somewhere closer or in the same department if possible as this may help to bring down their monthly expenses.

As for me, daily cost wise may not be my priority of concern even i agree with the statement. When looking into this matter, i understand that marriage brought the two persons to be together and support each other emotionally, physically and spiritually and as a Muslim, a partner to help us to be in the path that make us closer to Allah while at the same time support the fitrah or instinct to live with ‘someone’.

According to Quran, the word of God,

“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourself, that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that sign for those who reflect” [Ar-Rum 30:21]

And the Prophet peace be upon him said:

“Everyone of you is incharge and everyone will be accountable for those given in his charge..The wife is responsible for taking care of the home of her husband and his children, and she will be accountable for them.”

This is guideline in Islam. My point of view, the issue of separating husband and wife shall not be taken lightly or this may ruin the most fundamental instituition to build a better nation in the future. Where is the proof of saying ‘Family First’ or ‘Utamakan keluarga’ by the Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development?

I know it would not be possible to accomodate all couples but at least i hope to see improvement in policy making regarding the issue. On what basis the reasons are, if we put thing back where it suppose to be, we will able to arrange the system accordingly.

As for me, being a wife and gov-bonded civil servant, it put me in lose-lose situation whether to quit and pay RM 110,000 or living thousand kilometres far apart from my husband. To my suprise, even i have updated my new status prior to the board meeting, still ive been posted to west Malaysia whereas my other few single friend were placed at Klang Valley and east Malaysia.

As a Muslim, i believe there is always good thing lies behind and try to be positive and effective in what im doing as this is ‘amanah’ or responsibility. While at the same time, i believe that raising this issue is also my duty and should be priority of concern if we were to build a better people in the future.

p/s: Happy Anniversary 1 year of marriage to me and hubby according to Islamic calender (2 Rabiulawwal 1432-1433). May Allah shower His blessing in our relationship, always.